DietBet.com Interview

More than a year ago DietBet.com asked if they could use me for publicity.  I agreed.  DietBet.com was invaluable to my weight loss journey.  They recently asked for a follow up interview.  I don’t know what they are going to write about me, but it gave me a lot to think about. 

The first thing they wanted to know, is what everyone wants to know, how did you do it?  I did it more than one way, but the way that worked best was eating every 3 hours, 5 times a day, 160-300 calories per feeding, South Beach Phase 1 foods.  I also went to the gym most every day. 

I was asked what got me started.  I don’t think the motivation that started this particular journey was much different than the 4,000 other times I tried to lose weight.  I was turning 49.  I thought next year you will be 50.  You have been fat your entire life and have always wanted to be thin.  While no day is promised, actuarially your 50s are your last decade where you have the best odds of coming out in pretty good shape.  (This is true of each new decade.)  Do it now while you have time.  Enjoy your 50s.  That was the start.   

I was asked what I liked about DietBet.com.  I started losing weight in January 2013.  I lost about 50 pounds then I started gaining, as I was prone to do.  Then my office sponsored a weight loss contest.  I looked at that flyer and knew I could win that contest.  Driven people are made for contests.  We’re great at singular focus.  Pay attention to Biggest Loser, the crazier a contestant, the more likely they are going to win.  I joined that office contest.  I won.  We had another.  I won.

It was during the second contest I learned about DietBet.com from Chris Powell’s Facebook page.  I signed up.  DietBet.com was a lot better than the office contests.  At DietBet.com you play against YOURSELF.  When you keep winning office contests it really starts to piss off your co-workers.   I pride myself on great relationships with co-workers.  I also play to win.  It’s a conundrum.   

I was asked what I liked about DietBet.com.  DietBet.com does not advocate a specific diet.  You are on your own.  That’s good because the most important thing you ever do is learn about yourself.   DietBet.com is a tool.  The best thing it did was give me a date with a weight, as in you must weigh 197 pounds by March 25^th to win the contest.  (I just made up that date and weight don’t bother trying to track it on my FB page, it’s not there.)  The date and weight kept me from cheating.  It kept me from having that glass of wine or dessert. 

I was asked what the hardest part was.  That’s easy.  It was, and is, temptation.  I am really good at restaurants.  I have a really hard time traveling and at parties because the food, in both instances, is unique.  I managed that by avoidance.  I hardly traveled at all while I was losing weight and I surely did miss it.

I was asked if I ever did any crazy things on DietBet.com.  Yes.  As I got smaller it got much harder to lose weight.  Keep in mind I lost over 100 pounds, so I carry extra skin that has weight.  I told her towards the end I did a lot of green juicing.  Once I did 9 days of green juicing.  I think that’s STUPID.  I hope I never do that again.

Then she asked if I could think of any bad things about dieting.  Yes.  The first thing I call the Ricochet Effect.  I gained weight immediately following the last diet contest.  I am pretty sure Biggest Loser contestants do that too.  To get to that end weight you work very hard.  It is difficult to keep up that very hard. 

Then you get to the hardest part which I have not conquered.  I call it Finding Normal and learning about my limitations.   It is particularly tough because I have never been normal.  I was fat starting at about 8 years old.  My parents were both fat.  My grandmother was fat.  They immediately started dieting me.  They did it out of love.  It didn’t work for them.  It didn’t work for me.  I have limited my food intake my entire life.

Me, Fourth Grade

 I have a daughter.  She is a size 00.  She is a model.  I never limited her food.  She eats garbage.  That being said she knows how to stop eating when she is no longer hungry.  Yesterday there was a to-go container in the refrigerator containing half her dinner from the previous night.  As she left to watch her boyfriend play basketball she said she was so happy when she came home she had that delicious dinner waiting for her.  Conversely, she and I went out to breakfast last Friday.  As my breakfast was served I immediately set aside half on a spare plate.  She asked if I was packing that.  I was.  She said I was not eating enough.  She might be right. 

My daughter, age 5

A couple days later we were eating cheese and crackers.  Crackers are carbs.  In my mind they are bad.  I ate two.  I told my daughter I rarely allow myself to eat food like that and when I do it sets off a trigger in my brain that says eat more.  My daughter said food limitations are bad because they screw with your brain.  She’s right.  She said take the cracker and break it into four pieces.  Put little pieces of cheese on each of the pieces.  Get buzzed off the food, not drunk.  My daughter loves food. Food creates anxiety in me. 

My daughter today

I told the DietBet.com woman you will never convince me all overweight people are sitting around eating like gluttonous pigs because I know what I can eat, and it’s very little.  I question whether it is because of genetics, food sensitivities or 40+ years of dieting.

The DietBet.com interview ended with a hard question.  She asked what I could do now that I couldn’t do before and how did I think differently about myself than I did before.  I was always  active.  Aside from the fact I can now exercise more than I could before there is not much I can do now that I couldn’t do before, except perhaps sit more comfortably in an airplane seat.  I never had to use a seatbelt extension. 

Me 1995

I told her I have a club foot that limits my physical activity. I will not set foot on a skateboard, hover board or paddle board because I have terrible balance and fear falling and breaking a bone.  I am not graceful.  This is because of my foot, not my weight.

As I answered her question about how I feel differently about myself I was surprised by the emotions it brought up in me.  I believe there is a big difference, in women of my generation, who grew up heavy, as opposed to those who grew up cheerleaders and got heavy.  It’s a difference you can see in the manner in which they dress.  Middle-aged, childhood-heavy women do not tend to wear tight or revealing clothes.  The got-heavy-later middle aged women still wear the small, tight clothes because that’s how they see themselves.  (Amazingly to me, younger heavy women now wear revealing clothes.  I think that’s pretty cool.)  In my mind, at least for my generation, always-heavy people live under a disability, and do not even know it.  I told the DietBet.com interviewer I had made hiring decisions, specifically hiring always-heavy women, because it is my belief they try harder.  They try harder because they feel less than, but they probably do not even know it.  They may not agree with me. 

Me, 2012

When you lose weight people treat you so differently.  You cannot imagine the difference.  I try very hard to be humble, and I don’t know how to say this humbly, so analytically, my transformation was like a butterfly.  I got pretty.  I have a pretty face, pretty hair, an hourglass body that I think has extra minutes on the hips.  I was a B cup.  I am now a triple D.  I lost band size, but not cup size.  Who would think that is possible?  And people tell me, constantly, how pretty I am.  I met a woman at a party on Saturday.  I ran into her again on Monday.  We greeted each other, her voice got low and she said, “I wanted to tell you on Saturday, but I didn’t, so I want to tell you now, you are really beautiful.”  I thanked her.  It made me want to cry.   I wasn't feeling beautiful at the time.

Me 2014

How do I feel differently about myself?  I want to be thin because the way I am treated now is SO MUCH BETTER.  It’s like living in a different world and it is crazy because I know I have always been EXACTLY THE SAME PERSON inside.  The shell changed.  The person inside is the same.  The different experiences the appearance gives you is like living in two different worlds.  The pretty world is so much better.

God sent me a gift and a lesson in the form of a very pretty daughter.  She says its good being pretty because pretty people make people happy just by looking at them.  But she added while I like having people come up to me all the time and tell me I am pretty, it’s not always a good thing.  She almost always takes someone with her on modeling jobs to keep strangers from approaching.  If she is not going to a job or a party she leaves the house with her hair not styled, no make-up, sweatpants and sunglasses so she looks less pretty.  

I’m gonna end with a story about a client who was recently in my office.  She was a large woman.  I have diet awards all over my office, in plain view, so I see them all the time, it’s important.  The client asked me a lot of question about weight loss, which I answered.  I stood up and bent in a manner that gave her clear view of my loose skinned, floppy arms to prove how much weight I lost.  If she’d asked I would have lifted up my shirt to show her my stomach.  (No guys, I won’t do this for you.)  She said she was impressed I was wearing a sleeveless top.  I told her it was hot, and the air was not working well in my office that day.  I told her my floppiness bothered me a lot more a year ago than it does now.  I said first you feel badly about being fat and then you lose weight and your closest friends and family members tell you about all the cosmetic surgery you need to get rid of that loose skin.  So how do you start feeling?  Terrible about having so much loose skin.  That surgery is expensive, not covered by insurance, painful and has a recovery period.  I’m not inclined to have it at this time, ask me again after I win the Powerball, except you won’t know when I win the Powerball. 

As soon as I find normal, I’ll let you know.