Weight Loss 2016 Week 1

Last week I reported I jumped back on a DietBet because I want to lose weight and DietBet.com was an invaluable tool the last time around.  My first week went well.  I eliminated the starchy carbs, alcohol and sugar I enjoyed over the holidays.  Within two days I lost my New Year’s weekend weight, which is enough to win that first DietBet, so long as I maintain the loss by the end of the contest.  I intend to exceed it.

As the days continued I rapidly lost weight.  This was in keeping with my weight loss theory about myself which is give me sugar and it sends a signal to my cells that says retain fluid.  I have surmised in my body starchy carbs and alcohol convert to sugar.  They are not good for me.  I like them, but….

I am in the habit of writing my weight down daily, because I have been dieting most of my life.  I am also in the habit of keeping records.  That comes from being a legal secretary, lawyer, business owner and Capricorn, we keep track of data.  I went to my trusty weight chart and saw my lowest December 2015 weight was on December 18^th.  I gained weight between December 19^th and December 31^st.  Thus, my next goal was get back to my December 18^th weight.

My holidays don’t end on New Year’s Day.  My holidays end whenever I finish celebrating my January 10^th birthday.  This year my birthday was celebrated on Saturday, January 9^th.  I ate cake.  Once I did that I also ate nachos, pretzels, fish dip, you get the picture.  Why?  Because cheating begets cheating.  In a flash my cells started filling.  My Sunday weight was up, but still under the pre New Year’s Weekend number.  I specifically gave myself permission to eat cake at my birthday party.  I did that because not allowing myself to eat cake on my birthday would piss me off more than gaining weight does.  That may not seem reasonable to you, it is reasonable to me.  Now my goal is to get to the number I had the morning of January 9^th and after that the December 18^th, number, that’s back sliding.

My cake

So this week I proved starchy carbs, alcohol and sugar equal instant weight gain for me and I reaffirmed DietBet.com is a great tool.  DietBet.com kept me check the rest of the week when my eating was on program, a program I designed for myself.  I am convinced I know my body better than anyone when it comes to dieting.  I have been dieting for the better part of 40 years and have achieved a mostly permanent 110 pound weight loss, despite gaining about 10% of it back in 2015 up until the holidays, and then adding more to it. 

 My party people, most of them

DietBet.com kept me on track when I went to my friend Holly’s birthday party the day before mine.  Holly’s party was at a Mexican restaurant.  As the servers brought out the dinner plates they called them out, “Chimichanga, who ordered the chimichanga?” “Two ground beef tacos”.  “Fish and salad.”  Holly exclaimed, “Which one of you idiots ordered fish and salad in a Mexican restaurant?”  Me.  Holly said, “Oh, it’s you.  I’ll excuse you, you’re always on a diet.”  Later Holly’s cake was brought out.  It was a beautiful dense chocolate topped with chocolate strawberries.  I was asked if I wanted a piece.  No, thank you.  I’m not going to lie.  I would have enjoyed a margarita in a fishbowl, chimichanga and cake.  But I will not lose a DietBet because I cheated.  That could keep me from winning.  It would be stupid.  I placed that bet voluntarily.  I would be cheating myself.  I’m glad I’m on a DietBet.  Actually, right now I’m on two.  I find tremendous power in being told I must achieve a weight by a certain date.  

Holly's Cake

What I Learned Over Summer Vacation

God blessed me with two of the most wonderful grandparents who ever walked the earth.  The entire time we shared together they lived half the year in Florida and half the year in Canada.  Yes, God blessed them too. 

 

Now, if you don’t know this, and I bet you do, people tend to look at their childhoods thinking, “That’s the way it’s supposed to be.”  Living half the year in Canada and half the year in Florida, that’s what I always wanted.  After I was a grown up I didn’t always get to Canada annually.  Then my daughter was born and I was a woman on a mission.  Get that child to Canada in the summer so she can experience happiness.  I am not kidding.

I played with various allocations of time over summer vacation, such as two trips up or one entire month up.  You know what’s bad about one month up?  Leaving July 31^st and knowing you are not coming back until July 1^st is terrible.

In January of 2013 I started dieting, for the 500^th time, but this was the time that worked.   Even that time it didn’t work all the time.  My weight fluctuated until I joined diet contests in November.  No more wild fluctuations.  I turned out to be crazy competitive.  Who knew?

Then came the summer of 2014.  What do I want in the summer?  To go to Canada.  Scheduling was hard, because I didn’t want to blow a diet contest, and I knew I would blow a diet contest on vacation, because a diet contest takes daily focus.  We came up one weekend AFTER Labor Day ‘cause I was in a dumb ass diet contest that ended the Tuesday after Labor Day.  I should not have entered that contest.  STUPID. 

The smaller you get the harder it is to lose weight.  That’s a fact.  I got to where I was very good at manipulating my weight.  “How?” you ask.  Eat a gigantic meal the night before a weigh in.  Drink lots of fluids, eat a massive breakfast, weigh in.  As you get closer to weigh out you may want to find out how many days you can green juice.  I’m not going to tell you my record cause I know if you have the ability to focus you can beat it and IT’S STUPID.  The diet contests were the best tool I ever found to lose weight, and then I figured out how to beat them, so I stopped because my own behavior was offensive to me.

So out I go into the world at a weight that is not fat.  But I look fat to myself about 95% of the time, that’s a personal problem.  And ya know how they say maintenance is the hardest part?  It’s really true. 

I’ll tell you some things I learned about myself that may or may not be true for you.  Alcohol, carbs and sugar hold weight to my body like crazy.  Everywhere I went friends would tell me, “Just have a drink, Marian, one drink won’t hurt you.”  It will.  “Everything in moderation, that’s what I say.”  I say you are so fortunate that works for you.  “Just have a piece of cake, it’s a party.”  Well, let me tell ya, in my world there’s a party just about every day, and that party food piles up on me. 

And I want to say a word about men.  OMGoodness there are so many kind, compassionate men who tell me, constantly, how great I look.  They do so feed my ego.  Thank you.

I was recently with a married couple who are two of my best friends.  Their little daughter said, “Marian, remember when I used to play with the fat underneath your arm?”  I raised my arm and told her, “You can still do that.  It didn’t go away.  It’s not going away unless I have it surgically removed, and the scar that surgery leaves, I’ve seen it, it’s not nice.”  The little girl’s mom is in the medical profession and agreed about that particular scar.  But we moved on to speak of tummy tucks and face lifts.  The husband said, “If some man is concerned about your loose skin and wants you to have surgery like that he is not worth having.”  His wife and I politely explained it’s not about how we look to men.  It’s about how we look to ourselves.

As the Summer of 2015 approached I thought about what do I want to do?  I want to be in Canada as much as I possibly can.  I have given up, for now, living there half the year.  It’s not conducive to operating a solo law practice, but I chiseled out the perfect summer schedule.  I was up the first two weeks of July, the first week of August, the first week of September.  I work from my computer and return phone calls daily.

What did I do through August besides enjoy the heck out of my vacations?  Gain weight.  How and why?  Well, before the first vacation I went out to dinner at the fondue restaurant.  Now, I could have just eaten the salad and meat course.  I wouldn’t have gained weight.  I didn’t do that.  I drank, ate the cheese course, salad, meat course and chocolate dessert course.  It was delicious.  I gained 11 pounds.  People tell me that’s impossible.  It’s not impossible.  I did it.  Then I came to Canada where, ya know, they have different food than we have in South Florida, for real.  I gained about 4 lbs.  I came back up in August, gained another 4 lbs. 

In late August I was back in Fort Lauderdale at a party where a man tells me when I walked into the room last Halloween wearing the dumbest most elaborate Viking costume anyone has ever seen he thought it was the coolest thing ever. 

Seriously?  You’re kidding me, right?  No, was I going to wear it again this year?  No, who wears the same Halloween costume two years in a row?  I would never do that.  I was planning to be Wonder Woman.  I planned to wear the little pants.  Wow, I have gained weight, and that’s a daring costume if you’re skinny.  Last year my slimmest friend wore that costume and she wore the skirt.  But I’m not doing that ‘cause I am audacious.  So I ordered the Wonder Woman costume.  I tried it on with those little pants.  That sent me right back to diet contest mentality with single-minded focus.  Then, guess what?  I flew back to Canada for Labor Day.  What a blessing!  What a gift!  I have to learn how to stay on track while traveling, what opportunity.  I am excited.

The Best Part of Losing Weight

What’s the best part of losing more than 100 pounds?  How many of you think I am going to tell you about health benefits?  You are so wrong.  The best part of losing weight, is looking good and being normal.  The joy of being normal and shedding a lifelong label of being fat is priceless. 

The joy of liking what you see when you look in the mirror is beyond compare and words.  It is fun and delightful to see people you haven’t seen for a long time and watch them ooooh and aaaah over your looks.  In his book “This is How” Augustin Burroughs says confidence comes from the feedback you get from other people over your competence.  Want more confidence?  Either care less about what other people think or develop competence.  Ponder that. Care less about what people think when they tell you that you are fat.  That takes mental fortitude beyond the capacity of most human beings.  Fat people know they are fat.  Tell a fat person he or she is fat and you are affirming what they already know, and do not like, about themselves.  The vast majority of fat people do not want to be fat.  So why don’t they develop competence in weight loss?  It’s really hard to do, for many, many reasons.   

It has been easy for me to feel confident in my profession based upon client feedback, historic record, test scores and awards.  Until recently my confidence over my physical appearance went something like this, sometimes, “You look good in that dress.”    

I have developed confidence from recent feedback.  I greeted a client in my waiting room, “Hi, Tony, how are you?”  He did a double take and asked, “Who are you?”  An 84 year old client came in to discuss a legal problem, we got right to it.  During a break in the discussion there was a pause and he said, “I have not seen you since you got your new figure.  It’s beautiful.  I am very happy for you.”   Yet another man exclaimed.   “Oh my God, look at you.  I remember how you looked.  How do you feel?  Don’t you feel so much better?”  What he does not understand, and most people do not, is the weight came off slowly.  I did not wake up one day 100 pounds lighter.  I do not feel the weight loss like people see it.  I know I can do more at the gym than I used to, but that does not make me feel the weight loss.  Fortunately I don’t have to feel it to rejoice in it.

I recently had something happen that was better than seeing someone I had not seen in a year.  A Rastafarian, Jamaican man, who appeared to be in his 30s in the check-out line at Whole Foods told me, “Ma’am you are an exceptionally beautiful woman.”  I thanked him.  I never saw that man before.  He did not know I lost weight.  He did not say, “You look good, for you, for someone who has lost 100 pounds.”  For all you cynics out there who are saying, he wanted something.  Maybe, but I have conveyed our entire exchange in this paragraph. 

If you love a fat person or if you are a fat person, focus on personal strengths.  Everyone is competent at something.  Build on that.