My Martin Luther King Jr. Day Story

When Lily was little I sent her to Elite Private School. I viewed it as a safe environment with every possible extracurricular on campus. It was my hope I could leave her there from 8 AM until 6 PM, where she would thrive, and I wouldn’t have to worry.

If there were 100 kindergartners, I am going to say 10 were African American. Lily went to after care. I am guessing six of the African American children went to aftercare. Most of the white children did not, they had stay-at-home moms. From the first day I picked Lily up I saw the children divided into groups, white and African American. They did this on their own. Lily was always with the African American children. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t have a problem with it. I wanted to ask her about it, but I couldn’t figure out a way to do that, without her thinking she was doing something wrong. What I really wanted to know was, “What’s wrong with the white kids? Why don’t you play with them?” Lily was happy with her aftercare group. I didn’t ask. Why create a problem where there is none?

On the Friday before MLK, Lily got in the car. She said she learned about Martin Luther King Jr. in school. I nodded. She asked if I knew at one time black people and white people were not allowed to sit next to each other on the bus, or eat together in a restaurant, or use the same bathroom. I knew. Lily was really angry and emotional. She shouted at me, “Why did YOU not tell me this?” I was startled by her emotionalism over historic segregation. I said it never came up. It was not information I meant to withhold. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS????” She shouts angrily. What? “It means if we lived back then, we couldn’t sit together. We couldn’t be together.” I was baffled. “Your father is not African American.” I told her. “Both your parents are white. You are white. You and I would ALWAYS be together.”

Call me stupid, Lily wrote a Facebook post in the past month. She posted a video about the growth of skin lightening products. She spoke of receiving a couple dolls as gifts. I remember them well. My sister-in-law, Pilar, gave Lily a Latina Barbie. Lily hated it. She cried. My friend Clara, gave Lily a Native American, American Girl Doll. Lily burst into tears. Pilar and Clara are Hispanic. The difference between Lily, Pilar and Clara is Pilar and Clara’s mothers were Hispanic. I am going to guess, when they were little, they had a preference for dolls that looked like them, as opposed to blonde Barbie. Lily gave the dolls away. Lily said watching the skin lightening video brought those dolls to mind. The dolls made her angry because Lily wanted to look like her Mom.

Lily is half Armenian. Her father, and both his parents, were born in the United States, but all his grandparents were born in Armenia, they may technically have been born in Turkey, but they were still Armenian, it works like that, really.

Lily said when people meet her in person they comment she is tanner than she looks in pictures. That’s because many of her pictures are digitally altered, lightened, to make her “more beautiful”. The skin lightening products got her thinking how absurd and unnecessary that is, a way to make people feel badly about themselves, particularly when Lily, personally, prefers being tan. Lily said from now on, when she edits her own pictures she is going to stop lightening her skin color because black and brown are also beautiful.

Martin Luther King Jr. was a Baptist Minister. He preached equality and love, regardless of skin color. That really ought to be easy, a no brainer.

Lawyers and Greed

            When the United States became a nation, lawyers were the most respected profession.  That we are not anymore has at least as much to do with the society in which we live as it has to do with lawyers.  I was taught in college, in the 1980s, the United States continuously expects annual growth at a rate that has never happened in human history, better, bigger, more, gimme, gimme more.  We have not achieved the growth they anticipated in the late 1980s.

            Republicans rile up the masses to protect doctors from their mistakes that kill and seriously injure people, by invoking fear, “Protect your doctors, or you might lose ‘em  Do not let the government take away your choice.”  Images are conjured of the doctor in Little House on the Prairie or Gunsmoke, with a complete failure to recognize most doctors work for corporations, for which they generate profit or revenue.  I am not saying your doctor doesn’t like you.  I am saying you are one of the many and the amount you, as an individual, pay the corporation is near meaningless.  There is a good chance your doctor is more concerned with how many patients he sees in a day and how quickly, or how many surgeries he performs in a month.  Some doctors also really excite to pharmaceutical and surgical equipment promotions.  “Doc, wanna go to the Super Bowl?”  “I’m sorry Doc, you didn’t perform enough surgeries to win the Super Bowl tickets, how about taking the family to Cancun for Spring Break?”  Does this offend you?  Would you excite to it?

            A teacher hates her job.  She has to teach curriculum with the goal her students do well on tests.  The administration does nothing about behavior issues and she is not allowed to do anything either.  She has over 10 years in and many years before she retires.  If she quits she loses her pension.

            A lawyer is happy with the number of divorce cases she signed up last month, most ever.  It was a goal.  Know how you sign up more divorces?  Tell ‘em what they wanna hear.  “Hire me, I’ll get you everything.”  Maybe the client will be lucky and the lawyer will make him or her happy, especially if the client’s expectations are reasonable to low. 

            One of my goals is to leave clients better off than they would be without me.  I have declined divorce cases. 

            A long-time client and her husband agree to divorce.  They want me to do it.  I know their financial situation and the needs of their household and large family.  I tell them no.  I am asked if I realize they will hire another lawyer.  I’m fine with that.   Several months later I see wife and ask about the divorce.  They are not in a financial position to get divorced.  I’m glad they consulted with a professional. 

            I am walking out of an electronics store when I am stopped by a friend who works for a big box carrier.  “Mrs. Lindquist, I need to schedule an appointment at your office.  I need to get divorced.  My wife cheated on me.”  I am so sorry.  I know you have a couple little kids, own a house, have a pension and work a lot of hours.  Before we meet, think about what you want.  Is your wife going to stay in the house with the kids?  Is there any equity in your house?  Do you want to think about something like keeping your pension and giving her the house?  We need to compare values.  How often are you going to see your children?  It’s sad you won’t get to be in the same house with them anymore but OMG, your wife cheated on you, with all you do for your family?  Let’s get her.  He never came in.  I ran into him months later.  “Mrs. Lindquist, I thought about what you said.  I was working a lot, and not paying attention to my wife.  I love my wife and children.  We started going to counseling and church, we are better.”  That was 20 years ago.  He is retired.  His children are grown.  He is still married.

            Professionals are not what they were because society is not what it was.  We have an insatiable appetite, an inability to delay gratification and greed constantly demanding more, more, more.  How does that end?  Oh, fish in the sea, come listen to me.