Tribute to a Friend

            I’m not using real names unless I am directed otherwise.

            My first law office was in an executive suite.  Ryan was my next-door office neighbor.  He was not a lawyer.  Ryan and I were both quiet workers.  Ryan’s wife, Tori, was gregarious and fun.  They had three children, two boys close together, and a girl some years later.  I had three step-children.  Oftentimes, in the summer, I would take a day or half day off and Tori and I would take the children somewhere to play, the beach, the pool, the lake or an arcade. 

            Tori told me Ryan didn’t like most of the people in our building, “Except Marian.”  That made me smile.  As my pregnancy advanced Tori asked Ryan, “Is Marian showing much, getting big?”  Ryan told her, “You can’t even tell she is pregnant with the clothes she wears.”  Tori called and told me that, asked if I was okay.  I was fine.  I’m a litigator, being pregnant is a liability in litigation.  There are lots of people I don’t want to know I’m pregnant. 

            Ryan and I both outgrew that building.  Ryan’s business prospered.  I don’t know that I ever saw Ryan and Tori again until Ryan threw a 50^th birthday party for Tori.  I’m 53.  I’ve been to a lot of 50^th birthday parties in the past few years.  This was the most elaborate I have attended, it was like a wedding.  Ryan and I were talking at that party.  He proudly told me with the kids grown Tori was doing sales for their family business.  She excelled at it.  He was so proud of her. 

            Tori decided she had to have a birthday party for Ryan that year, so a few months later she threw a less elaborate, but still very, very fun party for Ryan at their home.  Except Ryan did not attend.  He stayed upstairs.  He had a bad case of the flu. 

            Less than a month later Ryan fell in a store.  The fall was bad enough he was taken to the hospital by ambulance.  Tori got to the hospital.  She followed as Ryan was being wheeled down a hospital hallway.  They passed a room that said “MRI.”  Tori called out, “You know who needs an MRI?  This guy.  Give this guy an MRI.”  Ryan told Tori he did not need an MRI.  He knew what was wrong.  A year earlier he was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s Disease.  He kept this to himself.  I don’t blame him.  He gave himself and his family a happy year, where everyone was not staring at him looking for deficits.  When Tori called and told me it was like being punched in the gut and brought tears to my eyes.  I cannot imagine what it did to her.

            Their oldest son already worked for the family business.  Tori told her youngest son to quit his job.  They needed him at the family business.  He did.  Their daughter was going to college up north.  She came home.  Her parents both told her they did not want, nor were they asking, her to give up her college life.  She wanted to be there for her Dad. 

            Ryan passed away, about a year and three months after that fall.  He had a new grandchild in 2017.  He was so sad he would not get to watch his grandchildren grow.  We see through a glass darkly, and ours is not to reason why.  Ryan loved his wife, children and his job.  He was a blessing to his family and they were a blessing to him.  Life doesn’t get better than that.  I hope the next time I see him, he smiles and tells me he was wrong, He has been right there with his family every day.  He is so proud of them.