I AM OFFICIALLY WUSSING OUT OF THE TINY PANTS

Months ago I published pictures of the Wonder Woman Halloween costume I intended to wear for Halloween.  At my daughter, Lily’s, urging, I ordered it from Party City.  It consists of a plastic molded top that covers the front part of my torso and is open on the sides and back, though there is a cape.  The bottom is little pants that would expose a fair amount of butt cheek.  My butt cheeks are not attractive.  To say it exposes a lot of skin is a gross understatement. 

Two of my girlfriends, Nancy and Jessica, who both love me and only have my best interests at heart, recently expressed their absolute horror at my walking outside my house in those “little pants”.  I told them I bought a body stocking that goes from my head to my feet and down my arms.  They say that’s not enough. 

I was at the American Legion singing karaoke on a Saturday when they announced Halloween is on a Saturday, come to karaoke in costume.  I thought that is AWESOME because the average age of the men at the Legion is 80 and they will be thrilled to see me in that costume.  Jessica said men in their 40s would be happy to see me in that costume but still, no.

I have a picture of that Wonder Woman costume on the screen of my cell phone to remind myself I am wearing it and plan accordingly.  On a plane from Syracuse to JFK I was sitting and talking to a really nice guy.  He asked what was up with the Wonder Woman picture, did I think I was Wonder Woman?  I said no, and explained that was what I was wearing for Halloween but I was a bit concerned about all the skin showing with the lack of coverage the costume provided.  He said hell ya wear that costume.  Guys, you gotta love ‘em.  They’re not nearly so concerned about my personal appearance as women.

My friend MPK said her group is walking up and down Las Olas in costume, I am welcome to join them.  I’m thinking in that little costume, hell no.

Four weeks ago I injured my leg.  It has been out of commission in the exercise arena since.  That hasn’t helped.  The leg exercises really help my legs and hips, and energy level for that matter.  I have been focusing on abs and arms.

Still, between the two friends and the daughter they are telling me please do not go out in the little pants.  What to do?  What to do? 

My daughter asks why I don’t just start starving the week ahead to try to get smaller.  I’ll tell ‘ya why, cause I green juiced all the prior week to no avail, missing the leg exercises is a killer.

I caved to the pressure.  I went to one Halloween store where I saw the little skirt.  It’s so cute.  I bought it.  They also had a different top, not so cute, but more coverage than the one I had.  I bought it.  Then someone told me another store might have better tops, a bodice top.  I went to the other store.  I bought it.  I have three Wonder Woman costumes, maybe next year I’ll go out in the little shorts.