What’s the best part of losing more than 100 pounds? How many of you think I am going to tell you
about health benefits? You are so
wrong. The best part of losing weight,
is looking good and being normal. The
joy of being normal and shedding a lifelong label of being fat is
priceless.
The joy of liking what you see when you look in the mirror
is beyond compare and words. It is fun
and delightful to see people you haven’t seen for a long time and watch them
ooooh and aaaah over your looks. In his
book “This is How” Augustin Burroughs says confidence comes from the feedback
you get from other people over your competence.
Want more confidence? Either care
less about what other people think or develop competence. Ponder that. Care less about what people
think when they tell you that you are fat.
That takes mental fortitude beyond the capacity of most human
beings. Fat people know they are
fat. Tell a fat person he or she is fat
and you are affirming what they already know, and do not like, about themselves. The vast majority of fat people do not want
to be fat. So why don’t they develop
competence in weight loss? It’s really
hard to do, for many, many reasons.
It has been easy for me to feel confident in my profession
based upon client feedback, historic record, test scores and awards. Until recently my confidence over my physical
appearance went something like this, sometimes, “You look good in that
dress.”
I have developed confidence from recent feedback. I greeted a client in my waiting room, “Hi,
Tony, how are you?” He did a double take
and asked, “Who are you?” An 84 year old
client came in to discuss a legal problem, we got right to it. During a break in the discussion there was a
pause and he said, “I have not seen you since you got your new figure. It’s beautiful. I am very happy for you.” Yet
another man exclaimed. “Oh my God, look
at you. I remember how you looked. How do you feel? Don’t you feel so much better?” What he does not understand, and most people
do not, is the weight came off slowly. I
did not wake up one day 100 pounds lighter.
I do not feel the weight loss like people see it. I know I can do more at the gym than I used
to, but that does not make me feel the weight loss. Fortunately I don’t have to feel it to rejoice
in it.
I recently had something happen that was better than seeing
someone I had not seen in a year. A
Rastafarian, Jamaican man, who appeared to be in his 30s in the check-out line at
Whole Foods told me, “Ma’am you are an exceptionally beautiful woman.” I thanked him. I never saw that man before. He did not know I lost weight. He did not say, “You look good, for you, for
someone who has lost 100 pounds.” For
all you cynics out there who are saying, he wanted something. Maybe, but I have conveyed our entire
exchange in this paragraph.
If you love a fat person or if you are a fat person, focus
on personal strengths. Everyone is
competent at something. Build on
that.