Hillmanns 61 Conclusion

THE HILLMANNS OF BROOKLYN

CHAPTER 61

1942-1965

CONCLUSION

1942 Herman with his grandson, John. I have no photos of Rose with John.

John was taken home from the hospital by his father's mother, Martha, who was thrilled to have him.  Martha had raised two sons. Will and John moved back into his parents large, rent-controlled Manhattan apartment at 51st and First, the same apartment he had moved out of only about a year before, when he married Marian.

Will's mother, Martha, took Marian's passing in stride. Martha's mother, Charlotte, pictured with her father, had died as a result of the birth of her tenth child. Biggest difference between Charlotte and Marian, Charlotte knew she was dying. She said good-bye to her daughter, Martha.  Marian's death was sudden and caused by exceptional medical stupidity.

In Martha's world, growing up with out a parent was not exceptional.  Martha's mother, Charlotte's, father, Janne, died while Charlotte's mother, Anna, was pregnant with Charlotte.

After her husband's death Anna moved in with her parents to raise Charlotte. Anna never remarried. I think one of the reasons Anna never remarried was because she wanted to be alive to raise Charlotte, particularly since Janne died.

Following the death her daughter, Charlotte, Anna moved in with Martha's family to help raise the children.  Martha was repeating a pattern we know occurred in the prior two generations of her family.

Martha was over joyed to have a new little boy to raise.

 Grandma Rose, on the other hand, according to her grandson John, never got over the blow of losing her beloved daughter.  She insisted they sell the Port Washington house because she couldn't stand living in the same house with her daughter's room.  She withdrew from friends and family. 

Herman and Rose did not want to go back to Brooklyn.  They didn't want to live in the Bronx because that was where Will and Marian lived.  They went to Flushing, which was as far as you could get from Manhattan and still catch a train into the City because Herman still worked. It was the first time they ever lived in an apartment, as opposed to a house.

The fiercely independent Vikings who raised John sent him to first grade at age 4. At that same time, he began regularly visiting his Hillmann grandparents, first every other Saturday, then every 3rd Saturday. John traveled on two trains, by himself, to visit his grandparents.

John didn't like the weekend obligation because he said Rose was mean, now he thinks its because every time she looked at him, she saw her daughter's death. He said once she told him that he had to be nice to her, because she lost a lot for him.

Herman's daughter died, but his mother, Emma, was still living. Sometime in the 1940s she moved to Vermont to live with the granddaughters she raised (Herman's sister's children). Emma died in 1952. John never met her. He never knew she was alive during his lifetime.  

In case you missed Hillmanns#1 I wanted to remind of what Emma looked like as a young woman in the 1880s.

In 1952, when the great-grandmother he never knew died, John, age 10, had his first job. He delivered cooked chicken. He lived in an enormous rent-controlled apartment in a great location, he delivered chickens to Marilyn Monroe, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.

Herman tried to make Rose happy by taking her on trips, as they had always done.

It looks like they went to San Francisco. Maybe it's because Marian had told them how much she had liked it there when she went in 1937 (Hillmanns #54). Rose died in 1954.

I want to remind you of what Herman and Rose looked like the first time we saw them together, in about 1907.

John said he met Siegele relatives at Rose's funeral. This was the only time he ever met Siegeles. John believes Rose and Herman effectively alienated Hillmanns and Siegeles from their lives after Marian's death because relatives reminded them of their loss.

In 1956 John's father, Will, Marian's husband, died.

After Will's death, Herman decided he had to step it up a notch, so the Summer of 1956 he took John on vacation to Bermuda, to exactly the same place he took Marian and Rose. In 1957 Herman took John on a trip all over the western United States.

In 1958 Herman wanted to take John to Europe, to retrace Herman's own 1900 Grand Tour, but John didn't want to go. He wanted to go camping with his friend, Ralphie, instead. John calls this one of the poor decisions he made in his life. John did not grow up in the land of We-all-love-each-other-Oh-yes! in which his mother dwelled.

John moved to South Florida following in the path of his friend, Ralphie, and Ralphie's family.

In 1959, within months of John's going to Florida, Martha, Will's mother, the grandmother who raised John, died.  John told her he would be home for Christmas.  John had no idea Martha was sick, but Martha's friend told John that Martha had been sick for a long time and was holding on for him.  When John was born he had four grandparents and every one of the was 60 or older.

John met a beautiful girl, named Pam. Pam and John wanted to get married. Herman was opposed to the marriage, because he thought John was too young. At that time the legal age to get married without consent was 21.

John's guardian was his Uncle, Will's brother, because when Will died the three remaining grandparents decided the Uncle should be his guardian because it was more likely that one of the grandparents would die.  (They were correct.  The two Lindquist grandparents died beffore John was 21.)  John's Uncle gave consent for the marriage. 

In 1962 John and Pam married. Pam's parents didn't like it either. Pam was surprised Herman wasn't pleased with the marriage, like Marian Hillmann, Pam was a beloved only child and was not used to not being liked. John took Pam to New York after they married to meet his family.

Herman came to Florida to visit John. He told John that some of Rose's people (a brother and sister) lived in Delray, just up the road from Ft Lauderdale. John told Herman he didn't know those people, but if Herman wanted to see them, they could go. Herman declined. 

Sometime in the early 1960s Herman celebrated 60 years with his employer, the H.B. Smith Co. I can only imagine this company, along with his co-workers, were the community that filled Herman's life after losing his daughter and wife.

In January of 1964 Pam and John had a baby. Pam wanted to name the baby, Marian, to please Herman. John consented. This is Herman in the Summer of 1964 on the day of Marian's baptism in Belleville, Ontario, near the 1,000 Islands, which is where Pam's mother was born.

Herman died in April 1965. An autopsy was performed and the doctor reported Herman had so much wrong with him, any number of things could have killed him. John used the money he inherited to buy a house for his growing family. He also inherited a bunch of pictures, which he kept, and gave to me Memorial Day Weekend 2011. I am thankful to have spent so much time learning about the grandmother I never knew, and sharing it with you. 

Wills, Google and Suze Oman

            A 75-year old retired professional comes to do a Will.  Wills are usually the least expensive thing I do.  The client tells me what they want and I put it together.  That was not the case with this woman.  She wants to talk about Wills, in general.  She has been doing internet research.  Am I familiar with Suze Orman?  Yes, I am.  Do I agree with Suze Orman?  Not always.  What do I think of Trusts?  It depends on what your assets are and what you want to do with them.  It depends on your life situation.  For example, if you are a single woman and have one child to whom you want to leave everything, my advice is different than if you are leaving everything to nieces and nephews.  If you are in a terminal condition, right now, my advice is different.  The client bought along a set of Suze Orman CDs.  Do I want to listen to them?  Not unless she wants to pay me by the hour to listen and tells me exactly what she wants me to listen to, so I can take notes and tell her what I think the next time we talk.  She doesn’t want to do that.  I don’t blame her.

            She shows me a form will she pulled off the internet.  She asks if it is not the best will I have ever seen.  No, it’s not.  The first thing I see wrong with it, without reading it, is it is not self-proving which means a witness has to go to the courthouse to swear to it to get it admitted to probate.  “Listen,” I warn her, “If you do a Will wrong you don’t realize you did it wrong until you are dead, and then it’s too late to fix.”

            We get down to business.  She wants to leave something to her friend, Josephine, and something to her sister, Christina, with the rest to a charity.  Okay, if Josephine dies before she does, where does she want her share to go?  She never thought of that.  Definitely not to Josephine’s children.  She doesn’t like them.  She’ll have to get back to me.  Okay, same question for Christina, if Christina dies before you do, who gets her share?  She doesn’t know.  Once again, not to Christina’s children.  They are no good.  I ask how old Josephine and Christina are.  They are both her age.  I ask how much all her assets are worth, about a million dollars.  Okay, just think about this for a minute, what percentage are you leaving each beneficiary.  She doesn’t know.  Okay, if you leave a third, a third and a third, and everyone is 75 years old, how likely is it that Josephine and Christina are going to spend all this money before they die?  What?  Seventy-five-year-olds are not usually big on spending hundreds of thousands of dollars.  Where does she think the money goes when they die?  She didn’t think of that. 

            She could leave a larger share to the charity or dole out annual payments to the individual beneficiaries leaving the remainder to the charity.  I am told that is too much money to give the charity.  

            Who does she want to be her personal representative?  What?  Her executor, who does she want it to be?  Oh, my friend, Ermessenda who lives in Ecuador.  Ermessenda cannot be your personal representative because she is not related to you and she lives in a foreign country.  She does not quality to be personal representative in Florida.  Client doesn’t like that.  Ermessenda is so smart.  I’m sure she is.  Plus, I explain to her, naming a person who is not a beneficiary is not a good idea.  They are not receiving any of the money and it’s a hard job.  That’s why she wants Ermessenda, because she is so smart.  She would be better at liquidating assets.  I understand, but she can’t do that from Ecuador.  I recommend you name Josephine or Christina or Josephine AND Christina together.  She says Josephine and Christina are both very kind, but not very smart.  How can she be certain it will be done correctly and everyone will get their money?  How can she be sure one of them will not steal the money?

            I tell her she can count on that because of the probate judges.  She does not trust judges.  I tell her that she can trust the probate judges in Broward County to make sure the correct beneficiary gets her money.  The Broward County probate judges work hard to make sure everything is done correctly.  She does not believe that from what she has read on the internet.  I tell her then she has been misinformed, because our judges are serious as a heart attack.  If someone steals money they can put them in jail.  She asks why they would care so much the money goes to the right people.  That’s a good question.  It could be because they take their jobs seriously and care about what they do.  If you are a looking for a nefarious reason I’d say it’s because they do not want to pick up a newspaper and read they let someone steal a million dollars out from under their noses.  They do not let it happen.  She tells me what I am telling her is not what she read on the internet.  I haven’t seen her since.

Hillmanns 60 1942 Baby John

THE HILLMANNS OF BROOKLYN

CHAPTER 60

1942

BABY JOHN IS BORN

In 1942 Marian happily awaited the birth of her baby. She went into labor on May 9th, the Saturday before Mother's Day. I wonder if she wanted a boy or a girl. Can you even imagine how excited Marian, Rose and Herman were anticipating the birth of this baby?

On May 9th, 1942 Baby John was born.

Here's Grandpa Herman with his first grandson. There are no pictures of Marian with her son, because she died. Don't get mad at me for writing the sad ending. I didn't write the ending, I am the story teller.

If the death of the healthy, beautiful, athletic, young Marian in childbirth hits you like a punch in the gut, imagine what it did to Herman, Rose and Will?  Remember the young Rose holding her beloved only daughter, Marian, in 1909?

I know you want to know what happened. I will do my best to explain it to you.

Marian told Will she was in labor.  He took her to Flushing Hospital. 

Marian was admitted and Will was told to go home, it would be a long time before Marian had her baby.

After being admitted, Marian was given a room, and a meal. It was reported she ate a sandwich.

Marian's labor persisted. She was taken to an operating room.

Marian was attended by the Hillmanns long-time family doctor. Once in the labor room, she was given general anesthesia (gas that puts you to sleep),   General anesthesia during labor and delivery was the standard of care in 1942, so mothers would not feel pain.

The gas put Marian to sleep, just like it was supposed to, it also made her nauseous and caused her to throw up her recently-eaten sandwich. Unfortunately, since she was in a drug-induced state of unconsciousness, the vomit did not escape, nor did she swallow it. She strangulated on her own vomit.

Chaos erupted in the operating room. The hospital had a machine, like a vacuum, that could be used in instances, just like this one. Someone ran out of the operating room to get that machine

But they couldn't find the machine because whomever used it last hadn't put it back where it belonged. It wasn't malice that killed our heroine, it was medical treatment mixed with stupidity, malpractice.

The family physician tried frantically to revive Marian, to no avail. The anesthesiologist reported after ten he minutes he told the family physician, "Doctor, I believe your patient is dead."

The family doctor reported that, using forceps, he reached inside his patient and pulled the baby out of the dead woman in one fast motion.

There is no record as to when, how or who notified Will, Herman or Rose.

The next day was Mother's Day. Think about that. Think about Mother's Day for Herman and Rose every remaining year of their lives.

Mother's Day and John's birthday still fall close together, and sometimes on the same day, to this day.

Hillmanns albums come out on Tuesday. Next week I'll tell you how Herman, Rose, Will and Baby John fared without Marian.